Katie Holmes Held Hostage!

It's true. The whole TomKat thing is a sham. The whole Oprah couch thing was a ruse. In love? Puh-leez. From day one, this was clearly a marketing machine and more of Scientology's attempts to brainwash the public. Poor Katie, someone found out that as a child she said, "I'm going to marry Tom Cruise when I grow up," and they took advantage of that young girl's fantasy." Let's have a raising of hands? How many of you actually believe that Tom and Katie are for real? Look at Katie's expression in the photo. It's as if she's saying - Please rescue me from this brainwashing mind-controlling cult. She's always a few steps behind him. He's always gripping her hand tightly, pulling her along.

Tom is threatening to sue US magazine for allegedly fabricating this whole "it's over" rumor. Come on, Tom. How are we supposed to take you seriously? It wasn't that long ago that you and the other Cruz were pretending to be head over heels.

And how does Katie explain the baby? She was very vocal in interviews, claiming to be a virgin, and saying she wouldn't have sex until she was married. Now she's given birth to Tom Cruise's baby, and they're not married? What's up with that? They have this baby (named Suri) in the privacy of a house, not in a hospital, with only Scientologists attending.  As Alice would say, "Curiouser and curiouser."