Mel Gibson: Copping to it or copping out?

It's not exactly clear just how far Mel Gibson's anti-Semitism goes. One source says that he had turned down the Michael Douglas role in "Jewel of the Nile" because "Jew" was in the title. He is also quoted as saying that he thought Hebrew was something a guy does to make coffee. Gibson also thought that Juddhaism was a worship of all things Judy Garland, because he is anti-gay.

Would Woods Get a Woody?

James Woods, accomplished actor, one time aspiring surgeon and yes, MIT dropout (he was steps away from a degree in Political Science when he changed course for acting), appeared on Craig Ferguson's The Late, Late Show, last night. It was a homophobic fest to the point that, if Woods made one more anti-gay comment, I'd swear he's closeted. Really, the man doth protest too much. Why would Woods feel the need to bash gay-themed films? What is he afraid of, getting a woody?

At one point, Craig asked Jimmy if he's a particularly angry man. Although he denied it, I've been to enough industry events to say that he does, in fact, appear to be an unhappy, angry, bitter man. Extremely intelligent and supposedly "well-hung," he is known as a big dick in every sense of the word. (Rumor has it that the combined footage of James Woods, Milton Berle and appropriately named Woody Harrelson would be hard to beat. It's also not surprising that Woods likes the game of poke-her.)

I have seen how condescending and offensive he can be, especially to women. His abusiveness allegedly extends behind closed doors and into the bedroom. While I don't have personal knowledge of his proclivities, a friend of mine had a good friend who was in an intimate relationship with him for awhile, and the stories were as brutal as he allegedly was (is?). Of course, as a disclaimer - my comments are all cloaked as hearsay, unproven rumor, and salacious innuendo.

The kicker to the show was after they showed a lesbian clip from "Imagine Me and You," for the next guest, Piper Perabo. In the clip, Perabo and another actress leaned in for a kiss. Cut to Craig excitedly exclaiming, "Hallo!" Good thing he was behind a desk at that moment. His comment brings me back to the double standard (which I've mentioned in numerous articles already) that grows so tiresome. Craig and Jimmy made countless homophobic cracks regarding gay male storylines, but as a lesbian-themed scene, it was acceptable. What's with that?

Years ago I had a crush on James Woods. I was attracted to his acting talent and tremendous... brain. But after seeing enough of his interviews and his in-person behavior at Hollywood parties, the attraction waned. During tonight's interview, his absence of awareness showed its face when he commented that all gays live in San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York. Woods is living proof that you can be highly intellectual, brilliant, articulate and a wealth of information, and yet still be ignorant.

Sure, movies like Star Wars and Austin Powers made more money than Capote, Brokeback Mountain and TransAmerica. So the fuck what? Just because studios make films that appeal to the lowest common denominator and enable the dumbing down of America, doesn't make it right. If Woods doesn't like the system, then he should go back to MIT, finish his PoliSci degree, and get out of the movie business. Tom Hanks did quite well with Philadelphia. Somehow I don't think Woods needs to worry about anyone offering him a gay role. He lacks the necessary sensitivity to be convincing.

Perhaps the gracious talk show host was trying to be professional and non-confrontational when Woods made his offensive remarks. But when Jimmy gave Craig shit about his lack of poker knowledge and suggested that he was stupid, Craig should've retorted that at least he's secure in his masculinity.

I saw The Big Tease, the gay hairdresser movie that Craig co-wrote, and in which he starred. (Whadda ya know... gay people also live in Scotland.) Could Woods have pulled off that role? No way, girlfriend.

The Hump that Broke the Mountain's Back

Heath Ledger, you have established yourself as one of the most diverse and gifted actors of your generation! That's not to diminish the talent of up-and-comer co-star Jake Gyllenhaal (son of director Stephen Gyllenhaal and screenwriter Naomi Foner of "Bee Season" and "Running on Empty" fame, and younger brother of Maggie)...

Beginning with the anachronistic but clever "A Knight's Tale" (with the equally brilliant Paul Bettany), Heath stole this woman's heart. Recently he's been riding at the top of his game with "Brokeback Mountain" and "Casanova," proving he can pursue forbidden love with a poignant dramatic turn as a clenched jaw cowboy, or in an amorous farce as a shameless lover of women who discovers by the climax that the love of one outweighs the orgasmic needs of the many.

Interestingly enough, there appears to be a common thread in all three above-mentioned roles. In each film, Heath has played a man pretending to be something other than who he is... each character possessing a deep, dark secret to which the audience is privy. Heath has demonstrated remarkable range in portraying emotional nuances of these men who struggle with an identity crisis, ever in denial about their true nature. But I digress.

What prompted this examination of "Brokeback Mountain" was a recent discussion with a potential suitor... a man who professed to be a screenwriter, aspiring toward a career in show business, and also seeking my interest. When he declared that he had no intention of seeing this movie because of its subject matter (and thus revealed his homophobic narrow-minded limitations -- what was that about?), not only was I immediately saved from a Starbucks first date... but I found myself wanting to champion this movie beyond the discussion with this idiot who called himself a writer but refused to see "chick flicks" and hadn't even heard of "Sullivan's Travels"! Who lets these guys onto the planet, never mind into the entertainment industry? Watch... he'll write "Beneath the Planet of Porky's" and retire!

Why are so many heterosexual men reluctant to see "Brokeback Mountain"? How sad is it that our society, in the year 2006, still needs to label this as a "gay cowboy movie," rather than the universal love story that is really is? If it had been forbidden love between a man and woman of different colors, set in a time period where interracial dating was discouraged (see "Far From Heaven" with Julianne Moore and Dennis Haysbert), audiences would cluck their tongues and shake their heads that such a chasm ever existed. But with love between two men, mainstream America recoils in fear and disgust.

Remember "Bound" with Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon? That had a steamy lesbian love scene. Where was the uproar over that? Is it because men fantasize about two women, but are so insecure about their own sexuality that they'd be afraid to see two men together on the off chance that they'd get aroused... and then, oh my, how would they ever be able to look in a mirror again? What would that say about them? There we are again with that damned double standard - two women, fantasy; two men, forbidden?

How hypocritical that we applaud Elton John's recent marriage to his same-sex partner, as long as we don't have to "watch" their intimacy? Isn't it sad that England has legalized this, and here stands the United States, a paralyzed paradigm of paranoia, a country supposedly built on forging progress, but actually built on a forgery of freedom... especially with a counterfeit President who thinks that wire-tapping citizens is acceptable and a necessary evil? Goodness, are we returning to another McCarthy era? (By the way, bravo to George Clooney for "Good Night and Good Luck.")

Why are so many threatened by the concept of same-sex unions and same-sex love and same-sex parenting and same-sex rights and same-sex sex? I don't know about you, but I find watching gratuitous sex uncomfortable, even when it's male-female. You can't tell me that you enjoy watching Mickey Rourke or Woody Allen and... anyone?

For that matter, watching violent sex or rape onscreen is extremely unpleasant, such as in "The Accused" with Jodie Foster. And don't get me going on what's in her closet (talk about a missed opportunity to be a role model).

Why are we willing to accept two men kissing under comedic circumstances? For instance, Tom Selleck planted one on Kevin Kline in "In & Out." As a talk show guest, Drew Carey gave lip service to Craig Ferguson on "The Late, Late Show." That smooch fulfilled half of a fantasy... fodder for my next column about that cheeky monkey.

So why can't our so-so society handle two male actors simulating intercourse in a realistic way? I mean, come on, we don't see actual nudity and penetration going on. They're fucking actors! For the uninitiated and those too uptight to see "Brokeback Mountain," let me tell you that there are very few lovemaking scenes of a sexual nature. Most of the dynamic between the two men is innuendo, friendship and desire. The handful of scenes that show the expression of their love in a physical way are done with grace and beauty. It's not as if they climb every mountain.

I admit that "Brokeback Mountain" is horseplay of a different nature and not for the sheepish, but not because of its bareback scenes. This heartbreaking love story has a spirit that can't be broken, and I believe it is a ride worth taking. So Mr. Pasteurized Screenwriter, you'd better see a man about a horse - 'cause you ain't ridin' this filly!

To Mr. Ledger, whose career has found its balance: I predict an Oscar nomination and possibly a statue. But win or lose, I promise you this, Heath Ledger (how apropos that your name has heat and edge) . . .
I will never quit you!