Skin Deep with John Ritter

The all-knowing "they" say it's wrong to speak ill of the dead, but what about simply speaking the truth? If the truth (which is often stranger than fiction) happens to reveal illicit and unflattering information, should it be suppressed simply because the offender is deceased? 

It is in that spirit I recount the following sordid encounter with John Ritter, not for its salacious aspects, but as a seeker and speaker of truth. I relay these facts with no disrespect intended, based solely on my recollection and perspective.

Prior to marrying Amy Yasbeck, when John was married to Nancy Morgan (his first wife), it was well-known in certain circles that this beloved family man was a womanizing lech. This statement is not based on rumor, but through personal experience. Hey, why do you think his performance in "Skin Deep" was so good?

It was the mid-1990s, and I was out for a drink at Stanley's (a now defunct bar in Sherman Oaks). John had brought his brother Tom in for an impromptu mini-bachelor party, since Tom was getting married that weekend. John started to flirt with me and invited me to sit at their table. At one point, he leaned in as if to whisper something in my ear. I leaned in to hear what he had to say... and the creep stuck his tongue in my ear and started licking. 

I was disgusted and mortified, I didn't know how to handle that moment. I mean, what do you do? Slap John Ritter? Throw a drink on him? I just pulled away uncomfortably and pretended it didn't happen. As the night wore on, he became more drunk, and more lecherous... groping me. Believe me, I was not flattered. It shattered my illusion that he was the "nice guy" as painted in the media. Here was this married man, father of three kids, who was drunk in a bar sticking his tongue in a young woman's ear.

The party wore down. We all went outside and said goodnight. I drove home to my apartment. About 10 minutes later, my buzzer rang and it was John! He had followed me home. How awkward... I told him that, while I was flattered, I would never compromise my morals to be with a married man, famous or not. He was impressed that I turned him down, and we sat and talked until he sobered up enough to drive. John  scribbled his name and phone number for "Hearts Afire" on a memo pad, and offered to get me a job on the show. (I never did take him up on that.)

As he was leaving, I mentioned that Tom had invited me to the weekend's dinner at the Bombay Bicycle Club in Burbank, and said that if John felt awkward, I wouldn't attend. He insisted that I should go, and I did. It was rather brazen of me at the time to sit with a group of people that included John and his wife Nancy. Three was definitely a crowd that evening.

Ah well, I can add the experience to the list of strange celebrity encounters I've had through the years while living in Los Angeles. Yes, there were others, and perhaps I'll get around to writing a book or blogging about them as well. Should I have shtupped John Ritter? Nah.

Pro-Choice is not Anti-Life

I'm going to venture onto a limb and delve into a topic that is always divisive and controversial, yet a dialogue must be had. ABORTION. There, I wrote it. In all caps so you can't ignore it. A word that many people consider even worse than vagina or uterus. And with the word - Abortion - also comes the always-in-danger-of-being-revoked "Right to Choose."

Abolition of a woman's right to abortion, when and if she wants it, amounts to compulsory maternity: a form of rape by the State.

Edward Abbey
Having choices is part of being human, free will, and all that. And with a woman's right of choice related to her own body, there are consequences, but they are individual consequences, not collective consequences that affect society. Therefore, society should not have the right to impose manmade morality on the individual.

Now this particular post was motivated by a comment made by a woman named Kristen on a Facebook wall. There's a group called Lady Liberals, and they were brave enough to put this poster on their wall yesterday which, of course, incited conversation and debate, not all of it respectful. It varied from the logical to the irrational, emotional responses of those whose opinions are colored by what they claim are religious beliefs.

I am always amazed by these religious people who are ready to cast stones and cite biblical references to support their position, but their use of the bible is selective. They pick and choose a concept that suits their purpose. In this case, a woman wrote an inflammatory comment that people who have abortions will go to hell and abortion is murder.

This same woman forgets that her book of choice says, "Judge not lest ye be judged." Even when you've walked in a cheaper version of someone else's shoes, you never really know what they're going through, and it's wrong to assume that women who have abortions are gleeful about it.

There's a lot of self-recrimination, regret, and wondering how one's life may have turned out another way were it not for that choice made out of necessity or desperation or fear or self-preservation or whatever.

There is this myth that women who have abortions somehow got pregnant by being irresponsible with birth control. While this may be true in some instances, it it not always true. In addition to women who got pregnant as a result of rape or incest, there are many women who are on birth control but fate steps in and they become a statistic.

Did you know that the pill is not 100% effective? Sure you claim to know that, but how good are you at math and statistics? Do you really understand what that means?

http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/unintendedpregnancy/contraception.htm

"The pill is 91–99% effective at preventing pregnancy."

Absorb that sentence please. That means out of 100 women, at least 1 will get pregnant, even on the pill. And up to 9 out of 100 could get pregnant.

"Male condoms are 82–98% effective at preventing pregnancy." Of course, condoms will help prevent STDs, but they're not foolproof either.

Combining the pill and a condom may improve the odds against you, but it still won't give you a 100% guarantee that you won't get pregnant. Only abstinence will guarantee that. So every woman, even the ones who are responsible with birth control, run the risk of getting pregnant when they have sex. I'll say it again. Every woman runs the risk of getting pregnant when they have sex, even when they use birth control responsibly.

Think an unwanted pregnancy can't happen to you? Think again.

"No woman has an abortion for fun."
Elizabeth Joan Smith

http://mypage.direct.ca/w/writer/anti-tales.html

In the (Robin) Thicke of It

Will someone please explain to me the success and appeal of Robin Thicke? We all know the only reason he has a career was due to nepotism. If his father hadn't been Alan Thicke ("Growing Pains") and his mom hadn't been Gloria Loring (soap star), Robin would be just another no-talented wannabe Justin Timberlake. And believe me, his talent isn't even one-tenth that of Justin Timberlake.

First off, his voice is grating and annoying with a high-pitched thin falsetto, and he sounds like a Bee Gees reject. His sex appeal is zilch and his songs are banal... especially his latest release which is essentially a song justifying rape, saying that women "want it."

At one point it was rumored he'd be a coach on "The Voice." For that reason I alone, I passed on auditioning. I could just imagine he'd be the one to turn his chair around and then I'd have to say, um, no thanks dude!

Seriously, what has happened to the music industry? I'm starting to sound like my parents, lamenting the crap that's on the radio these days. Whatever happened to melodies that had emotion, lyrics that had meaning, and singers who actually had good timbre, pitch and phrasing... who didn't oversing like Mariah Carey and Celine Dion and Christina Aguilera, and all of their knockoffs? Singers need to go back and listen to Rosemary Clooney, Karen Carpenter, Janis Ian, John Denver, and other pure voices.

On the most recent season of the rapidly declining "American Idol," Harry Connick, Jr. was a guest coach one week. The barely articulate Randy Jackson sank to new lows of stupidity when he denigrated Harry's feedback that the singers needed to stop trying to show off with so many notes and simply SING and understand what they were singing.

Sometimes there really is such a thing as too many notes, Mozart. Letting a phrase breathe... embracing the space between the notes... letting the melody AS WRITTEN do its job... these concepts are lost on younger singers. As much as I'm not a fan of Susan Boyle, her simplicity serves the music well.

I beg you, music industry, STOP giving careers to hacks like Robin Thicke.

Sibilant Rivalry

Speak now or forever hold your peath. The Media seems to be overrun with people who have noticeable and distracting speech impediments. Just read their lisps.

Ex-football player Michael Strahan has replaced Regis Philbin, and is now Kelly Ripa's co-host on ABC's newly-monikered "LIVE! with Kelly and Michael" (not exactly an inspired title, by the way).

Will the Real Boobs Please Stand Up?

When the rest of America observed a moment of silence to honor those who died on 9/11, and most networks covered that moment of silence, what did NBC do?

They broadcast an interview with Kris Jenner-Kardashian about her breast implants. Yep, her hooters. Tits. Boobs. Knockers. Yayas.

I kid you not.

Kicking the Bucket List

Mark Twain once said, "Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." Although Mark Twain is dead, Bill Cosby is not.

Peanutgate? It's nuts!

Nuts throwing nuts at the Republican National Convention! There's a viral story on the Internet that says peanuts were thrown at a Black CNN camerawoman at the RNC. While throwing the peanuts, they allegedly said, "This is how we feed the animals." The assailants were then ejected from the event.

Is the story credible? What's the truth?

Bless the Beasts and the Children... of the Southern Wild

Add me to the growing list of people who are baffled by the hype. I just got home from the 11:30am showing of this mess of a movie, and I agree with the reviewer. For the record, I don't know the filmmaker, and have nothing "personal" against him. I am not a film snob, as I go to action, sci-fi, arthouse, indie and comedy films, to name a few genres. This was 100 pages of the same scene over and over. In good storytelling, first of all, there's a story. Even with fairytales and allegories, story and character development must exist.

The shaky camera was indeed distracting, as was the low-res grainy texture to some scenes and not others. If you're going to have a distinctive visual element, be consistent. This movie was all over the place, as if it didn't know what it wanted to be. The young girl's "performance" was 98% voiceover. There's nothing worse than something that is art for art's sake, and I believe that this is another case of the Emperor's Clothes. I saw previews that had more storytelling than this entire movie.

By the way, as an aside, I scoured the credits for an acknowledgment that the American Humane Society was involved and helped oversee the treatment of animals, to assure that no animals were harmed in making the film. I saw no such credit, which makes me think that the animals were not treated humanely.

And as another observation, a much better film to see... "Bless the Beasts and the Children."

Gun (out of) Control

I am compelled to dust off my blog writing skills in response to the horrific shooting in Aurora, Colorado, at a midnight showing of "The Dark Knight Rises." It occurs to me that we can no longer worry about political correctness when speaking up about gun regulation.

For some reason, the Republicans, members of the NRA, and the Far Right will have you believe that Democrats and Liberals want to ban guns entirely and take away your right to bear arms.

I am here to tell you that the problem isn't that people have guns. The problem is that crazy people can get guns too easily.

Can America Change Its Tune?

As a composer, I often ponder what makes a great song. By my definition, it is composed of a melody that is catchy and easily sung, along with a lyric that tells a story, has relevant meaning, is understandable, and has meter with rhyme.

In the 18th century, a club of amateur musicians, gathered regularly in London to perform concerts. By day, these musicians were barristers, doctors and other professional men. They named their club the Anacreontic Society, after the 6th Century B.C. Greek poet, Anacreon, whose poems celebrated women, wine and entertaining.

Imagine a private club of lawyers and doctors, secretly getting together with their 18th century garage band, and it’s not a stretch that drinking occurred at their meetings, even though the primary purpose of the Society was to promote an interest in music.

Mel Gibson: Copping to it or copping out?

It's not exactly clear just how far Mel Gibson's anti-Semitism goes. One source says that he had turned down the Michael Douglas role in "Jewel of the Nile" because "Jew" was in the title. He is also quoted as saying that he thought Hebrew was something a guy does to make coffee. Gibson also thought that Juddhaism was a worship of all things Judy Garland, because he is anti-gay.

Baconizing Craig Ferguson on the Strip

No, "baconizing Craig Ferguson" is not a sexual act. Last week I celebrated my birthday by going to Vegas with a friend to see Craig Ferguson at the deteriorating Tropicana. I have thoughts about that show which I'll share at another time, although I will mention that Ferguson spent quite a bit of his act talking about his rather large penis. Hey, I wouldn't know. I'm just telling you what he talked about, over and over and over, kind of like a floundering Vegas comedian who needs to rely on cheap jokes to get laughs from an audience that's been drinking cheap wine in the casino. I think he took performing "on the strip" just a little too literally with the penis jokes.

Anyway, as my friend and I were walking past some slot machines towards the show room, I was observing how my brain had just gone through several steps over dinner getting from point A to completely unrelated point E, and how magnificant the human mind is when it comes to connecting seemingly dissimilar dots.

At that moment, I invented a new word for our lexicon. BACONIZE. A verb. The act of connecting nonsequiturs, seemingly unrelated thought processes, people, events, ideas, situations or items, through a series of six or less shared connections, as in the six degrees of Kevin Bacon. [Also see Baconization - the act or result of baconizing.]

In describing to my friend how I came up with an idea, I took him through the preceding nonsequiturs that brought my brain to that particular thought, and commented that I had "Baconized" the steps. Most people associate baconization with linking actor names together, but really the method works for just about anything.

So what does this have to do with Craig Ferguson? Well as it turns out, I am connected to him by only two degrees of separation. While at the aforementioned Vegas show, my friend and I sat across from two ladies who work at the same emergency animal hospital where I had taken my dog one evening, and they had saved his life. In conversing with the one lady, I mentioned that I would love to meet Ferguson. She then revealed to me that she took care of his dogs and knew his ex-wife Sascha! I couldn't believe my good luck, until... she told me about Ferguson's much younger girlfriend who wasn't particularly bright. I expressed surprise that CF wouldn't want an intelligent woman such as myself.

The veterinarian responded that CF's ego was so big that he'd be threatened by a smart, funny woman. You could hear the thud as my jaw hit the floor. Needless to say, I saw him with a totally new perspective as I watched his act that evening, straining my neck up and twisted sideways from my front row center table seat. As CF rambled on about his fat porker, all I could think of was...

Katie Holmes Held Hostage!

It's true. The whole TomKat thing is a sham. The whole Oprah couch thing was a ruse. In love? Puh-leez. From day one, this was clearly a marketing machine and more of Scientology's attempts to brainwash the public. Poor Katie, someone found out that as a child she said, "I'm going to marry Tom Cruise when I grow up," and they took advantage of that young girl's fantasy." Let's have a raising of hands? How many of you actually believe that Tom and Katie are for real? Look at Katie's expression in the photo. It's as if she's saying - Please rescue me from this brainwashing mind-controlling cult. She's always a few steps behind him. He's always gripping her hand tightly, pulling her along.

Tom is threatening to sue US magazine for allegedly fabricating this whole "it's over" rumor. Come on, Tom. How are we supposed to take you seriously? It wasn't that long ago that you and the other Cruz were pretending to be head over heels.

And how does Katie explain the baby? She was very vocal in interviews, claiming to be a virgin, and saying she wouldn't have sex until she was married. Now she's given birth to Tom Cruise's baby, and they're not married? What's up with that? They have this baby (named Suri) in the privacy of a house, not in a hospital, with only Scientologists attending.  As Alice would say, "Curiouser and curiouser."

Girth Brooks' Body Language Said "I Don't"

Trisha Yearwood and Garth Brooks did their first TV appearance as a married couple on Oprah the other day. It's his second marriage, and her third.

During the interview, Brooks revealed that he and his daughters have a bedtime confessional ritual called "The Honesty Club." They turn out all the lights, light a candle, and make a vow that "whatever's said in the club, stays in the club.'' I guess it's Nashville's answer to Vegas. Oh wait, that's Branson.

For now, he's allegedly retired from the music business until his youngest reaches the age of 18. Of course, Celine, Cher, Barbra and others have manipulated the gullible public by staging supposed farewell concerts, only to enjoy the hype of comebacks a few years later. So I'm sure Garth is not permanently out to pasture.

Speaking of cows, although I shouldn't criticize out-of-shape people since menopause temporarily supersized me, it does seem that Garth's girth has expanded since being with his zaftig new spouse. Hey Kirstie Alley, when you're done losing those last pounds, give Jenny's number to Garth and Trisha. Maybe they can get a 2-for-1 discount.

Anyway, as an analyst of human behavior, dissector of subtextual between-the-lines interpretation and all things unsaid, I'll tell you what struck me more than anything in this televised celebration of love and marriage on Oprah ... body language.

Garth was far from laid-back, or should I say he was far from Trisha, sitting on the edge of the couch in an awkward sideways position. At one point, Trisha slid her hand towards him on the couch, and instead of taking it, he pulled his further away. The gesture was unmistakable. Whether it was subconscious or not, it spoke volumes.

The entire interview seemed strained. Forced. Awkward. Unnatural. Uncomfortable. Not unlike this paragraph. As if they had something to prove (or disprove). Trisha rarely smiled. Garth kept his distance. For all their efforts to appear as a happy couple, their bodies spoke another language. I'm guessing that when he and Trisha got home from Oprah, there was some honesty goin' on in the club that night.

Garth's apparent lack of enthusiasm about his recent nuptials was quite the antithesis to Tom Cruise's historic couch incident. Oprah wisely asked Garth if his love for Trisha somehow invalidated his marriage to Sandy. She used Tom Cruise as the example, because Tom was once head over heels for Nicole Kidman. And then it was Penelope Cruz (who is now with Matthew McConaughey). And now he's marrying Katie Holmes out of wedlock.

Or you could use the example of Brad Pitt who cheated on gentle Jennifer Aniston for Mia Farrow wannabe Angelina Jolie who once loved her alleged wife-beating husband Billy Bob Thornton so much that she had his name tattooed on a body part.

Or Julia Roberts who cancelled her wedding (three days before it) to Kiefer Sutherland, temporarily ran off to England with Jason Patric, then married Lyle Lovett (huh?), and now has had twins with hubby cameraman Danny Moder.

Or Renee Zellweger who was married for about two seconds to Kenny Chesney, after supposedly being madly in love with Jim Carrey, who had been devastated by his divorce from Lauren Holly.

Here's a strange one. How about Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis swapping partners with couple Renny Harlin and Laura Dern? Jeff next dated Laura, and I believe Geena married Renny for a few years.

Dizzy yet?

Certainly it seems that movie stars and music icons switch partners every year, having their own penguin-like march. When Garth kidded that in two years he might be back on the show eating his words, one wondered if he was only half-joking.

For all the fuss and spin about their "I do's," Garth's body language seemed to say "I don't know." But that's okay. What is love in show business anyway, but a match made in P.R. heaven?

Hey Craig, What's Your Sign?

Message for the Craigster... read my lips! Sometimes you need to think before you speak. You've been a bit loopy lately.

You know that habit you have of leaning in at every commercial break and pretending to whisper something in the guest's ear? Well sweetums, it just didn't feel genuine tonight. Why, you ask? Well I'll tell you, since you asked. Had you noticed that guy sitting behind you? That sign language interpreter named Jack Jason (whom you called Jack Jordan)?

What exactly did you whisper into the ear of guest Marlee Matlin?

Trial and Error on Boston Legal

Note to ABC's "Boston Legal," and yes, that means you, David E. Kelley: You are being charged with failure to write plausible storylines and do your due diligence regarding legal procedure.

On the February 14 episode, a teenage rape victim came to the law firm of Crane, Poole & Schmidt, seeking representation. She wanted to sue a Catholic-based hospital for refusing to give her the "morning after" pill in order to prevent her from getting pregnant from the rape.

All reason went out the window when they went to trial within days! That just doesn't happen in the court system. I don't care if you're Denny Crane. You don't get a trial that quickly. First you file a Complaint. Then the defendants have 30 days to file an Answer. Then there are Interrogatories and Pre-Trial Hearings. Then there's the selection of the jury. All of this must occur before a trial commences. The process takes months, or even years. If the defendant is a hospital, trust me, they'll drag out the process for as long as possible.

I'll always cut you some slack simply for giving me my weekly fix of the magnificent and intense James Spader. But as much as I agree with your politics, David, i.e. your liberal agenda on every show, I'd like you to pay a little more attention to details once in a while.

For that matter, while I'm on my soapbox, please stop breaking that fourth wall and being so self-referential. A few weeks ago, Denny Crane (Shatner's comeback character) joined Alan Shore (Spader's role of a lifetime) on the balcony for the tag which has become an enjoyable staple and signature scene. However, I objected to Crane's comment, "I've hardly seen you this episode." That dialogue should've been stricken from the record.

Tell you what, let me get my hands on Spader and his appealing briefs, and I'll settle this in a court of love. I rest my case.

See Dick. Run.

"Let's shoot all the lawyers..." (Vice President, Dick Cheney)

Okay, you got me. That quote was really Shakespeare. But how great is it that our Lame Duck Administration consists of a Birdbrain President and a Vice President who shoots Quayle, er, I mean, Quail? I guess a Birdbrain in the White House is worth a Lawyer in the Bush.

Here's a question. If Whittington was supposedly coming up behind Cheney, how did he get shot in the face and chest?

I'm personally anti-gun and even moreso, anti-hunting. I don't see the "sport" in killing birds and animals just for fun. Read this: Cheney's Canned Kill, and Other Hunting Excesses of the Bush Administration.

To paraphrase Will Rogers: "There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on [senators] politicians."

In the Wake of the Wake

Proving once again to be a class act, Craig Ferguson, host of The Late, Late Show (the Craigster to you'n'me) thanked his fans for their overwhelming support after he devoted an entire show to his father's passing, as a wake for those still awake.

Robert Ferguson, a retired postal worker for the UK's Royal Mail (and a whistler like my dad), recently succumbed to the ravages of cancer. The family asks that, in lieu of flowers, donations be made in his name to Dr. A.G. Robertson, Beatson Oncology Centre, Western Infirmary, Dumbarton Road, Glasgow G11 6NT, Scotland. You can also click here for the centre's direct donation page.

And yes, that's a younger picture of my future ex-husband. What a hottie, huh?

Would Woods Get a Woody?

James Woods, accomplished actor, one time aspiring surgeon and yes, MIT dropout (he was steps away from a degree in Political Science when he changed course for acting), appeared on Craig Ferguson's The Late, Late Show, last night. It was a homophobic fest to the point that, if Woods made one more anti-gay comment, I'd swear he's closeted. Really, the man doth protest too much. Why would Woods feel the need to bash gay-themed films? What is he afraid of, getting a woody?

At one point, Craig asked Jimmy if he's a particularly angry man. Although he denied it, I've been to enough industry events to say that he does, in fact, appear to be an unhappy, angry, bitter man. Extremely intelligent and supposedly "well-hung," he is known as a big dick in every sense of the word. (Rumor has it that the combined footage of James Woods, Milton Berle and appropriately named Woody Harrelson would be hard to beat. It's also not surprising that Woods likes the game of poke-her.)

I have seen how condescending and offensive he can be, especially to women. His abusiveness allegedly extends behind closed doors and into the bedroom. While I don't have personal knowledge of his proclivities, a friend of mine had a good friend who was in an intimate relationship with him for awhile, and the stories were as brutal as he allegedly was (is?). Of course, as a disclaimer - my comments are all cloaked as hearsay, unproven rumor, and salacious innuendo.

The kicker to the show was after they showed a lesbian clip from "Imagine Me and You," for the next guest, Piper Perabo. In the clip, Perabo and another actress leaned in for a kiss. Cut to Craig excitedly exclaiming, "Hallo!" Good thing he was behind a desk at that moment. His comment brings me back to the double standard (which I've mentioned in numerous articles already) that grows so tiresome. Craig and Jimmy made countless homophobic cracks regarding gay male storylines, but as a lesbian-themed scene, it was acceptable. What's with that?

Years ago I had a crush on James Woods. I was attracted to his acting talent and tremendous... brain. But after seeing enough of his interviews and his in-person behavior at Hollywood parties, the attraction waned. During tonight's interview, his absence of awareness showed its face when he commented that all gays live in San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York. Woods is living proof that you can be highly intellectual, brilliant, articulate and a wealth of information, and yet still be ignorant.

Sure, movies like Star Wars and Austin Powers made more money than Capote, Brokeback Mountain and TransAmerica. So the fuck what? Just because studios make films that appeal to the lowest common denominator and enable the dumbing down of America, doesn't make it right. If Woods doesn't like the system, then he should go back to MIT, finish his PoliSci degree, and get out of the movie business. Tom Hanks did quite well with Philadelphia. Somehow I don't think Woods needs to worry about anyone offering him a gay role. He lacks the necessary sensitivity to be convincing.

Perhaps the gracious talk show host was trying to be professional and non-confrontational when Woods made his offensive remarks. But when Jimmy gave Craig shit about his lack of poker knowledge and suggested that he was stupid, Craig should've retorted that at least he's secure in his masculinity.

I saw The Big Tease, the gay hairdresser movie that Craig co-wrote, and in which he starred. (Whadda ya know... gay people also live in Scotland.) Could Woods have pulled off that role? No way, girlfriend.

The Late, Late Ferguson (Papa Can You Hear Me?)

First, I would like to offer my deepest condolences to Craig Ferguson, whose father just passed on. The timing couldn't be more ironic for me, or for him...

I also want to apologize for an email I sent to Craig and The Late, Late Show last week, in which I complained about the repeat of shows which recently aired. The last minute repeats were probably covering Craig's unanticipated absence as he flew back to Scotland to be with his dad during his last hours. It proves that one should have all the facts before reaching conclusions... and even then, things are not always as they seem.

On the January 30 show, Craig's poignant monologue was devoted to honoring his father. (Click here to see CBS' online clip.) Watching it has made me love Craig even more. His honest vulnerability and willingness to share his pain reinforced what an outstanding human being he is - and how my first impression of him was more accurate than what I experienced at a taping a few weeks ago.

I missed the homage live, and came to the show just as Amy Yasbeck was welcomed to the stage. Wouldn't you know, this is one show I hope they do repeat. Amy and Craig had a heartfelt discussion of life, death, religion and the afterlife. It was somber and sincere. Amy talked about owning the private grief for the loss of her husband, John Ritter. (I have my own memories of John, fodder for a Shelley Winters-like memoir at some point.)

Anyway, Amy was commenting that Craig's son, Milo, will learn about the grieving process by observing how Craig deals with this loss. The entire segment was a tremendous departure from the typical late night talk show celebrity interview and it renewed my belief in the magic of Craig Ferguson. The segment was also a poignant cap to a 48-hour "message from the universe" which I'm still trying to decipher.

The message began three nights ago when I smelled someone smoking a cigarette right next to me at 2am. I was sitting at my computer and the odor was unmistakable. I had a fleeting thought that perhaps my Dad (who died in 1992) was paying me a visit, but I dismissed the notion quickly, as I have never had any sign of him, despite my desire and search for one.

Sunday night, I was chatting with a client, and we were sharing our sordid dysfunctional childhood memories. The client told me about her mother who just died in December. She recounted a story that led us to "pretend cast" which actors would be good for a movie about her teenage years. I mentioned Debra Winger as a possibility for portraying her mother.

The conversation continued, and I confessed that I wished my Dad would let me know if he was hanging around me. A few minutes later I turned on ABC to catch the last 10 minutes of Desperate Housewives. As fate would have it, the scene was of Eva Longoria's character releasing a balloon, symbolic of the release of her dead baby's spirit. Why was this relevant to me?

Back in 1992, my mother had flown to Los Angeles with my father's ashes, to scatter them on Catalina Island. A friend accompanied me for this event, as I could not be left alone with my mother to protect my sanity (and my mother's life). My mother revealed to me her intention to release a balloon in honor of my father. When I pointed out to her that it needed to be a helium-filled balloon, she dismissed my comment, because she believed I was never right about anything. I insisted again that the balloon would not rise with merely her hot air. She ignored my protestations.

My mother made a little speech, released the balloon... and we all watched as it... abruptly dropped to the ground, bounced a bit and went over the edge into a ravine. I was mortified, but more importantly, a few steps from pushing my mother over that same cliff.

In retrospect, the humor of the moment was something Dad would have appreciated. He was not an emotional man, but he had a tremendous sense of humor and brilliant mind. The last time I spoke to him, three days before he died, was the only time I ever heard Dad cry - and it was the tears of a concerned father, wanting to make sure his only daughter was safe and happy - wanting to tell her that he loved her and was proud of her. I remember releasing Dad in that conversation, letting him know it was okay for him to let go, to die. I lied through my teeth, telling him that my life was wonderful, just so he wouldn't worry about me anymore.

So back to the present - here was this scene of a balloon ceremony. A message from Dad? The next show was Grey's Anatomy, and the storyline centered around the loneliness of Meredith's crazy mother. Another sign? A few hours later the late night movie came on - and it was - Urban Cowboy with Debra Winger! I couldn't believe it. That movie hasn't been on TV in years and there it was, on the same evening where I had just mentioned Winger's name.

What is the universe trying to tell me? Cigarette smoke. A balloon ceremony. A crazy mother. Debra Winger. All validations that somehow I am "tuned in" to something... but what?

And then the kicker. Discovering that Robert Ferguson (Craig's father) has just died. My Dad was also a Robert. Same first name. Even the same last initial.

Perhaps there's more message to come. While I wait, I hope the two Roberts hook up and have a good time - wherever they are. To Craig Ferguson, my soul hugs yours. In time, may your laughter and joie de vivre lessen the pain for you and your family.